Sunday mornings I feel so lost. I believed for so long.
O still go to a church once in a while hoping for I don’t know what – to get a glimpse of Jesus – see him one last time? to make sure it’s really over? to assure myself that it never really existed in the first place?
It’s kind of like going to the grocery store, restaurants, and those other every day places that I’d gone to with that girl I had a crush on forever, dated for a minute, and was dumped by (without knowing it), and who can’t understand why I blocked her on FB.
I don’t really know if i’m hoping to run into her or am afraid of running in to her. If i did run into her (and she did not “walk on by), I know I’d be sucked right back into a “friendship” with her. She was the worst kind of friend. She really was not a friend.
i just *thought* she was there.
kind of like jesus.